Can The Second Time Be A Charm?
What if I can't recreate my success?
Welcome or welcome back! Series two, episode five of A Writer’s Life! If you’d like to hear me read this, then click here: (Music by FASSounds and Music_For_Videos from Pixabay.)
4 minute read
They say the third time is a charm. Success at last after trying and failing. Well, it worked for Henry VIII and his third wife. But what if your first time is a charm? What if after all the hard work you’ve put in, everything actually goes brilliantly? Can you then not have a second-time charm? Is the second time somehow doomed because the first was a rousing success?
I wrote an article for a website (about how to sustain a writing habit - read here) and when I say I was so pleased with how it turned out, that’s an understatement. It was the first time I had really written an article and I’d done significant research and lots of editing. I was careful to get the right balance between being informative and letting my voice come through. I enjoyed reading it and I was overjoyed to share it with others. Then, I had to write a second article.
Oh, the procrastination, the half-hearted attempt at pulling some notes together. The tentative few words tiptoeing onto the page. No catwalk strutting here; I was afraid to commit to the page. I was so scared of it not being as good as the first one. I had put so much pressure on myself and set such high expectations that this second article stalled for a while like a car with a banana in the tailpipe!
I know why this happened. The eternal weight of expectations from my childhood. Growing up as a Black kid on a council estate, the family community message was that life was not going to be the same for me as it was for kids with white skin. I was going to have to try harder, work harder, be the best, do better, excel, do better some more, beat the rest, do better. Did I mention do better? Seriously, I was a straight-A student for a while at school and the day I brought home my first grade B on a report card was a day I have never forgotten. It was like all the As on the card had disappeared like vanishing ink and the B that was left was highly offensive to my mother.
It’s almost like an insult, isn’t it? That one lost mark, 99%, 19 out of 20. The judgement just oozes out of your pores. But it’s not your judgement, is it? It didn’t actually start with you. People pleasers, perfectionists and pure high achievers are not born, they are made. Created and evolved over time due to external factors and influences that impact the internal and before we know it, this identity and programming blinds us to the truth.
It doesn’t matter.
Our life is not in danger.
There is no punishment…now.
I’m being completely honest when I say, this is a work in progress for me and I often have to remind myself. What helps is community. I’ve had this conversation with my awesome coach Chelsey Pippin Mizzi who reminded me that this is part of the process and the lived experience of creatives. Did this make me feel better knowing others also experienced this? Yes, it did, especially when I had a similar conversation with one of my co-hosts at Writers’ Hour who was experiencing the same paralysis when writing her second substack.
Treat life like an experiment. Try different things and one may get you the result you want. The ones that don’t aren’t failures. You are learning something from those experiences even if it isn’t evident at first. Test things out and see what happens. One day you may be surprised.
So, did I get the second article written? Yes, and I was pleased with it. I still preferred my first one and that’s fine. There are reasons for that. I’m not worrying about writing my third one though. Does it matter whether or not the second time is a charm? Only if you let it. Celebrate that there is a second time!
And I am celebrating as I share with you another second accomplishment. My second self-published book is out now: United Under One Sun: Poems of transformation through joy and pain. It is my second book but it’s my first time collaborating with three other poets and getting our work into one shared collection. I wanted to share the book cover with you and the blurb. I’d love for you to get a chance to read it. I’m delighted with the outcome.
I have learnt so many lessons about self-publishing I was able to apply the second time around. So much less stressful when you know what you’re doing.
And to celebrate the book's publication, I’m running a free poetry and writing workshop as part of the Nottingham Poetry Festival. It’s an online event - From Monotony to Inspiration: Poetry and writing workshop to bust blocks! You can find details here and at the time of writing, there are only a few places left!
We often crave seconds don’t we? In the hope that they taste as good as the firsts.
Keep an eye on the website - updates coming soon…Until then, celebrate. Let’s not diminish the second attempt even before we start.
If it’s your first time here, here’s a quick welcome video to view at your leisure: watch me
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Tentative words tiptoeing on a page...that’s poetic fire!