And Even the Blood Came Out!

Another pocket of happiness

Welcome or welcome back! Series three, episode three of A Writer’s Life! If you’d like to hear me read this, then click below: (Music by FASSounds and Music_For_Videos from Pixabay.)

4 minute read

Early in my teaching career, way back in the nineties, I was friends with another teacher. We started teaching the same year in the same school with classrooms next to each other. Whilst teaching has changed a lot over the decades, it has always been challenging. A class of 35 children including 23 very immature boys can really test your mettle. It’s a steep learning curve when you first start teaching and it all comes in thick and fast! My teaching friend and I used to discuss ‘break the pencil’ days. This isn’t as it may appear, a day where you got so mad at the class that you snapped a pencil. It was the opposite. It was a day when you were writing and the pencil lead would break rendering you a blubbering mess. You weren’t upset about the pencil, it’s just that you could not take anything more in that moment.

Photo by Tara Winstead: https://www.pexels.com/photo/scattered-papers-and-broken-pencils-8406973/

Sound familiar? That incident that manifests as your breaking point. The microsecond that sends you spinning upwards into high atmospheres then plummeting down to hit the ground hard. And it doesn’t end there. You go through the ground into the shadowy depths where even dwarves fear to go. A harsh moment in time. How do we bounce back from that? We all have our own tools, strategies and support systems (feel free to share in the comments) but we do come back. Deep down, we know that this feeling, these feelings, this painful way of being will pass. There is a reason the word resilience exists.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

When the darkness finds me and sets up home (easy because it already has foundations), I remind myself that it will pass. This doesn’t make the feeling any better in that moment but it gets me through the next moment and the next (and hey, it gives me something to write about!). I praise myself for the little things. I got out of bed - yay me! I focus on everything I have done, no matter how minor and try to pull the focus away from the things I haven’t done. It helps me to sit in it without becoming completely crippled.

I’ve been getting into the habit of it now. I look for pockets of happiness even when everything is going ok. Flexing my squirrel happiness-hoarding muscles so I can build up credit. We have become far too used to running on empty - no energy left but still going like a maniacal Duracell bunny!

I had a day where I knocked over three drinks, tripped up a couple of times, lost something and had my cat bleed (poor baby) on my white blanket. Yes, in the moment I was frustrated and demanding to know why this was happening to me today but I tried to flip the script. I had gratitude for the fact that; I had something to drink and could refill it at any time; I owned the item that I had lost and it must be in the house somewhere; I didn’t break any bones when I tripped; I have a cat and access the veterinary care - and yes, even the blood came out of the blanket!

Grateful for this little one…

I know in the grand scheme of things that people are dealing with so much more than these somewhat minor inconveniences and I have dealt with so much more in the past too. But, it can be the small thing that tips you over the edge sometimes so why not look for the small things to actually build you up?

I challenge you dear readers to a spiritual scavenger hunt. Over the next few weeks, see if you can:

• identify something that made you laugh out loud (and save that feeling)

• recall a kindness from a friend (or even a stranger)

• find an item at home that brings back fond memories

• write down three occasions when you felt loved

• say thank you for that last-minute save

I would love to hear how you get on. Let me know in the comments or hit reply! Spring is just around the corner and winter is over. Let’s look to nature for inspiration for starting new things, returning to old projects and taking one step further towards our goals!

I did say I would share some of my writing with you and as it’s been a while since I sent a newsletter, I’m sharing a poem and the shortest of stories with you. Enjoy!

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Spilt

It took but a split second
the glass now horizontal
the floor shiny with 
its unexpected new layer
it wasn’t the first time this week
that water had flowed
overflowed
was there a message
I paused to consider
and in that moment
I realised
the message may be
to simply be
to stop
breathe
sigh
instead of letting the world
and my life 
rush by
the water had spilt 
and the clock kept ticking
the water had spilt
and my heart kept beating
the water had spilt
and it was fine
this time
and the last
there would have 
been a time
when it felt like
the worst thing
that could happen
the final straw
the final crack of the camel’s back
water spilt
tears spilling down my face
emotions flowing
overflowing
but not today
I stayed in my flow
let the emotions and water come and go
I shall take a moment 
to recognise my growth
celebrate
and so
I
raise
a
glass.

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A drabble (story with 100 words)

Separated

Lost without its partner; peeking sadly from the mourning dark. Heartbroken,  longing for its twin. They had constantly hung out in the same position yet in different places. Swinging happily, receiving compliments everywhere. 

At night laying side by side, comfortable; a perfect pair. That final warm hug had separated them. Caught wrapped in ringlets not wanting to let go. Eventually released but never the same. Weakened. Gravity called, separating one from the other. 

A search, but too late for the other had been swept away. Discarded with the debris from the night, destined to join the community of lost earrings.

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