I Don't Want to Do This!
I think I've changed my mind
Welcome or welcome back! Series two, episode six of A Writer’s Life! If you’d like to hear me read this, then click here: (Music by FASSounds and Music_For_Videos from Pixabay.)
3 minute read
Fear. It answers for so much doesn’t it? It can spur you on, keep you back and also hold you captive. Sometimes all at once too. I experience fear the closer I get to executing an idea, presenting something new to the world or approaching a finish line. It’s strange, isn’t it? We should be so happy when we come to the finish line. I mean how many times do you see an athlete stop just before that final white line, turn around, go back or fall to pieces with wobbly jelly knees just a few paces away? Not often. They storm towards the end, excited, exuberant and exalted! With good reasons too.
I think the finish line signifies endings and endings herald new beginnings which involve that giant scary monster known as change. I’m in the process of finishing the plans for the self-publishing course From Your Shelf to Theirs. It launches in September and many times I’ve considered delaying it until next year. I could think of logical reasons for this but the motivator was fear. I have to acknowledge this and plough on with the original plan.
It’s important to pause and examine motivation. Often, it’s attraction or aversion that directs our decisions and it can be challenging to drop down into our inner wisdom and find out the truth of what is really happening. Sometimes we need reassurance, motivation and encouragement. That’s what I’m offering on this course, so you don’t have to go it alone. We work in creative community.
As I write this, it’s Windrush Day. 22nd June 1948 when Tilbury Docks ‘welcomed’ many peoples from the Commonwealth, predominantly the West Indies. My parents were part of the Windrush generation and I’m first generation ‘Black British’. There have been so many TV programmes about the early experiences of my parent’s generation. I like to read about this, watch programmes and discuss it with the elders who still remain. Their struggle spurs me on. They overcame SO much so that our generation could have a chance at a decent life.
I channel that strength whenever I have fear on me. They were scared but still carried on and I will do the same. There is still so much division within societies. Too much intolerance and misunderstanding. If people nurtured their curiosity to find out about others and employed more empathy, things would be different. I believe everyone has a story to tell and a voice to be heard. This is why I published and I encourage others to publish as well.
How will they know or ever understand if we don’t tell them?
The next time fear visits you, draw on what you will to garner that courage to keep moving. Keep stepping forward even if fear is riding your back and know you can rejoice when you reach that finish line. Then, let others know too. Because we are not alone.
If you need a cheerleader to spur you on, guide you on your journey of self-publishing or give you that final push to press publish, I’m here for you.
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